Where Do You Find Happiness?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, 
what you do are in harmony.” -
Mahatma Ghandhi

Happiness. Hmmm. This is a big one.

Let’s take a look at a few definitions.

Sonja Lyubomirsky in her book “The How of Happiness” (2007), defines a happy person as “someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety and anger.”

The website, www.self-improvement-advice.org, shares: “Happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant, at least for a good portion of time. Note that it is a state of mind, NOT a set of happenings.”

Greek philosopher Aristotle once asked: “What is the ultimate purpose of human existence?” He answered the question as “eudaimonia” which is often translated as “happiness.” However, deeper exploration reveals that he more often refers to this as the final goal or destination or totality of one’s life. He is quoted as saying: “…for as it is not one swallow or one fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.” To me, this last definition ties in directly with knowing yourself, how you tick, what your body of work reveals about you. Aristotle also said: “We are what we repeatedly do.” What we do stems directly from what we believe.

Japanese educator, Tsunesaburo Makiguchi alludes to, in his work “Education for Creative Living”, that happiness to one might be the attainment of status, to another - the procurement of wealth, to someone else the achievement of a big goal. (He goes on to infer that these are woefully insufficient happiness drivers.)

So is this “happiness thing” a subjective definition and state or are there objective measures that we can look to?

I say both.

The state of being “happy” infers a feeling of well-being or elation that most people can easily relate to, particularly when it comes to relative happiness—that is to say, a moment of temporary joy or bliss, generally stemming from an outside stimulus—the smile from an unexpected guest, a check in the mail, big bright sunshine when one wakes up, the wag of the dog’s tail.

To each of us, what triggers these moments will be subjective. If you are afraid of dogs, then the tail wag as a canine charges in your direction will not give rise to any sense of elation.

At the same time, a natural human element that is common to most is the quest for meaning—the sense that one has a purpose, a reason for existing, a need for belonging—perhaps a want for love (however that is defined—and that’s a big one, too!)

Here’s where complexity sets in and the debate and dialogue rage on. Happiness is not the quest itself, yet comes from the quest. Happiness is not the belonging (because much belonging involves suffering) yet can stem from the belonging. Happiness is not the purpose in and of itself yet is derived from the fulfillment of the purpose.

To me, happiness can in no way be divorced from actual living. We seek it and sometimes it acts elusive. We pursue it and have to check ourselves to remember the moments of it along the journey. We build our inner reservoir and hope that when the need arises, that our inner tank is full enough to find it once again when lost.

Or maybe it really is the smile of a baby, the warm water in the shower, the rays of sun after a cloudy day, the gentle rain in the spring, the breath of a puppy, the waves of the ocean, a fine glass of Cabernet, the laughter of your child, paying it forward, a big fat steak or laughing until your stomach hurts.

What’s happiness for you?